prayer

I've been working on praying more lately, which is really nice. I always feel better when I pray. It's getting easier as far as the steps go as well, which makes it easier in general. Insha Allah I'll get better with this and more consistent with it.

Alhumdilillah

Tonight I was driving home from work and was almost hit by a car. It would have been really bad. There just happened to be a lot of space where there usually isn't, and in the split second I saw the car almost smash right into me from the side (they sped through a red light), I was able to zoom my car, swerve to the side, and end up on the side of the road. The car just missed hitting mine and didn't hit me at all. Both myself and my car were totally fine. No one was hurt, including all the people driving behind and next to me. I felt so lucky, and immediately started saying out loud, "Alhumdilillah!" over and over. I keep thinking about it this evening and feel Allah really helped me.

It makes me think of other things I can be thankful about as well. I want to be appreciative of what I have.

Qur'an quote I like

I'm reading the Qur'an tonight, and I just came across some I really like from Chapter 53, "...your companion, Muhammad, has neither erred, nor has he gone astray. he does not speak out of his own desire; the Quran is pure revelation sent to him... This manifestation is now visible on the spiritual horizons. Muhammad approached closer to Allah, and Allah leaned down towards him, so that it became as it were a case of one chord serving tow bows or closer still..."

I think this is so beautiful! I take this to say that what happened, the words Muhammad spoke, were not what he wanted, he was just stating what Allah said to him. I think this is important to note. It's not like Muhammad went and wrote some things down he wanted others to believe (and I know he couldn't write anyway). He was a prophet. He didn't choose it, he didn't win a lottery or wake up and think this is what he wanted. It's what happened. I believe I read somewhere that after the first encounter with the angel Gabriel that he was confused. All of this seems very honest to me. And I have not read one single bit about the prophet, peace be upon him, that implies that he was greedy or wanted fame or wealth or power, etc.

I love the last bit about Muhammad and Allah connecting. How beautiful and inspiring. It makes me want to really focus on how important it is to connect with Allah and make that effort.

really want to work on this

I've gotten distracted by being very busy with other things, being tired and stressed from those things, and have not taken the time to keep up with my faith in the ways I'd like to. I haven't forgotten about it, not at all. I thank Allah daily for things that come up that I am thankful for, that go well, the beauty in nature, etc. My identification within myself of being Muslim solidifies each day. I do feel like I'm moving in the direction I want. However, I haven't been keeping up with prayer as much as I want, I think the other things and distraction haven't helped, though that's no excuse. I haven't been reading in the Qur'an in awhile either, I haven't taken the time for it. I was at a bookstore recently for some other things and did find a couple books about Islam I picked up. I won't have time to read them for a little while, but I do look forward to it. I miss praying when I don't do it, so Insha Allah I'll be more mindful of this and the benefits of prayer and get better at it.

quick update

I just feel like posting a quick update. I want to keep up with this.

I've been praying, Alhumdilillah. I've been reading the Qur'an still too.

I know this isn't exciting news, but I don't want to let the ball drop with this blog or with staying mindful of my faith, and this helps with that. I suppose if I feel like I'm not doing enough, that says something in and of itself. Like I could put more effort into this and my faith and reflecting on my faith. I'll keep that in mind, Insha Allah.

quote from the Qur'an I like + my thoughts on it

I'm reading the Qur'an tonight, and I came across this quote I really like from chapter 57: "He it is Who sends down clear Signs to His servant that He may bring you out of every kind of darkness into the light." I love it. It says so much. It acknowledges that Allah sent us these signs, and why. I do believe he sent us signs. I think they are infinite. I believe if we look for them, we'll be able to see them everywhere. One just has to acknowledge it and understand it and that's what they are. And the whole point, it is saying here, I think, is that it is to bring us from a dark place we'd otherwise be into a lighter place, where we should be, where we are free, where we understand. This quote is inspirational to me, and I feel like it does reflect the impact that Islam is having on me-or that my life now reflects what this is describing. How nice! And that is just in this world! Alhumdulillah!

pacing myself & intentions

I'm still praying and working on getting it right. I feel like I've got to pace myself though. I feel like if I take things quicker than one step at a time, then quickly I feel like it's too much. This is such a big adjustment already, I don't want to get burnt out feeling or discouraged or like it's a burden or like I'm failing. So I'm taking it as it comes and putting effort in little by little, one step at a time. I see my growth curve gradually going up, which I think overall is good. Insha Allah one day I will be praying the prayers correctly and regularly.

That's one of my intentions. Then the other one I keep thinking about is wearing hijab. I want to, but I know I'm not ready for it yet. Insha Allah one day I will get there too. Today I got this deep, inner feeling like I wanted to. It wasn't just a feeling of I should, or that I would like to for a superficial reason or in and of itself. It was a feeling like this is the correct thing for me, and I will feel better if I do that. I think the idea of it is sinking in.

I'm still reading the Qur'an often and am still reading Reclaim Your Heart and am finding that I'm getting a lot out of both. They give me something to think about. Both reading in these frequently and praying frequently help me keep Allah in mind and my priorities in line with where I want them. I think that helps me keep my actions in check too. All of this is beneficial. It all feels like it's its own reward, but I know that there is an Ultimate reward for it all as well.

I am keeping the things I am grateful for and appreciative of in mind often and notice and am aware of them and thank Allah for these.