I'm still reading some of the Qur'an each day, and love it. I'm also still reading a Rumi poem each day. I've lost interest for now in the Spiritual Gems... book for now, though I think it's good. I'm thinking of putting that aside and rereading Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed. I read that book before converting and actually thought it's among the best books I've ever read. I zipped through it, I was really into it. I think rereading it, now as a Muslim, and taking the time to think about each thing in the book may help me find a way to get through this period I'm having now where I want more but feel kind of stuck. I'm not doing so well with prayer, and I'd love to make it more of a habit and get better at doing it properly. Every time I pray I feel better afterwards, I feel more peaceful and like I did a good action. I love making dua and thinking about my relationship with Allah. Insha Allah this will become easier for me.
I keep thinking about hijab. I'd love to start wearing it, but I feel like it would be better to feel more solid with my inner hijab first. While I think it would help me think of my actions more and be more aware, as it's not the norm here, I feel like I don't want to be a poor "representative" of Muslims, and I don't feel I'll be comfortable answering questions at this point and being "out" as a Muslim yet. I don't know when that will come. I guess I'm still getting used to it within myself. Each time I think of it, I love it. It is feeling more normal for me, and I can see my perspective getting used to it. However, I still feel like there's a lot to this religion I don't know yet. I want to learn but know it'll take time. I suppose I should just start with step one, prayer, and go from there.
No comments:
Post a Comment